Tomorrow, I will be seating for my O level English paper. The one subject I have worked so much harder for and failed myself so many times before.
For the past few months, I have tried everything I can think of to improve from english grades. From listening to BBC to trying to adopt an accent (luckily, I failed miserably) to organising a 'Speak good english campaign' to Read-newspaper-everyday-movement to start learning english for the very basics. True enough, my english did improve but the question is by how much and if it is enough to secure me a good grade (A1 or A2) for the upcoming exam? I sincerely hope that I will do myself proud and prove that hardwork is the key to success. Never mind all those people with a natural flair in this language, I can be as good as them if I put in twice, thrice the amount of effort.
The confidence I have in doing well for this subject is as fragile as a sheet of glass. When it is going good, it is going great. However, just one flick scratches it, one knock breaks it. The intense pressure to write as well as the previous essay, not even better, is sometimes overwhelming. If you think after failing myself so many times, I ought to have gotten used to it but everytime just feels like the first time. Yet, this process of failing is the most important factor to my possibly success.It is exactly this feeling of defeat that I try so hard to do well. It is because after going through all the pain that I imagine the taste of success will be so sweet.
Apart from this, support from my teachers and friends is a crucial factor to my possibly success too. Sometimes, knowing that somebody believes in me when I am at the lowest and cannot possibly believe in myself gives me the reason I need to fight the uphill battle all over again. Even though the outcome of this battle is not out, somehow I know that the result does not matter as much as before.
Honestly, there is nothing much I can do for the next 17 hours to make a significant change. All I can do now is to believe that my best is enough.
Tomorrow, I will be seating for my O level English paper. You know what, I'm am going to trash it!
If I can write like this tomorrow...
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Friday, 8 October 2010
What have we become
From To Kill A Mockingbird, "Cry about the simple hell people give other people - without even thinking. Cry about the hell white people give coloured folks, without even thinking that they're people, too."
This book was first published in 1960 and I believe since then, many people would have read it before. Sadly, it seem that we have not learnt much from it. This quote was said by Mr Dolphus Raymond to Dill and Scout, when Dill was crying uncontrollably at the way Mr Gilmer was doing Tom Robinson. The quote refers to the unjustified ways people are treating people, without a tinge of basic respect and consideration.
Recently, 18-year-old undergraduate Tyler Clementi jumped of the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River because his roommate had streamed a video online of his sexual encourter with another man. Closer to home, a sex video of two ACJC female students was circulated around the campus. This has lead the duo leaving the school.
After so many millions and billions of years of living, have we not learnt anything about tolerance, consideration and respect? Is it possible for us to just take a minute and think about the consequences of our actions, before committing an act that will not only destroy somebody else's life, but also scar many others? Can we just stop being so self-centered?
From A raisin in the Sun, "while I was sleeping in that bed in there, people went out and took the future right out of my hands! And nobody asked me, nobody consulted me - they just went out and changed my life!"
Many would have blamed what we have become today on technology, that because anything is possible at just a button away, it is so much easier to make someone live in hell. With Facebook, Youtube and blogs, the key to someone else's past is in your hands. So is the future. However, before technological revolution came about, people had long started judging and discriminating people who are different from who they are, which makes me wonder, has education done us any good? After acing all the examinations, have we learn to be a more understanding and accepting person? Have they taught us the right way to treat people because that is the way we would want to be treated? It is poignant to know that as literacy rate have been rising in many countries, we are not as educated as we seem. We still make similar silly mistakes as before.
As much as this is overused, we cannot deny that 'with great power comes great responsiblity.' It is obvious that the developement of technology has been far too fast for humans to handle. If there is nothing we can do to slow it down, we just have to work much harder than before to educate ourselves the importance of respect and tolerance in today's society. It is time we mature. It is time we try to understand that people live like they do because that is the way they want to live and we are in no position to judge at all.
This book was first published in 1960 and I believe since then, many people would have read it before. Sadly, it seem that we have not learnt much from it. This quote was said by Mr Dolphus Raymond to Dill and Scout, when Dill was crying uncontrollably at the way Mr Gilmer was doing Tom Robinson. The quote refers to the unjustified ways people are treating people, without a tinge of basic respect and consideration.
Recently, 18-year-old undergraduate Tyler Clementi jumped of the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River because his roommate had streamed a video online of his sexual encourter with another man. Closer to home, a sex video of two ACJC female students was circulated around the campus. This has lead the duo leaving the school.
After so many millions and billions of years of living, have we not learnt anything about tolerance, consideration and respect? Is it possible for us to just take a minute and think about the consequences of our actions, before committing an act that will not only destroy somebody else's life, but also scar many others? Can we just stop being so self-centered?
From A raisin in the Sun, "while I was sleeping in that bed in there, people went out and took the future right out of my hands! And nobody asked me, nobody consulted me - they just went out and changed my life!"
Many would have blamed what we have become today on technology, that because anything is possible at just a button away, it is so much easier to make someone live in hell. With Facebook, Youtube and blogs, the key to someone else's past is in your hands. So is the future. However, before technological revolution came about, people had long started judging and discriminating people who are different from who they are, which makes me wonder, has education done us any good? After acing all the examinations, have we learn to be a more understanding and accepting person? Have they taught us the right way to treat people because that is the way we would want to be treated? It is poignant to know that as literacy rate have been rising in many countries, we are not as educated as we seem. We still make similar silly mistakes as before.
As much as this is overused, we cannot deny that 'with great power comes great responsiblity.' It is obvious that the developement of technology has been far too fast for humans to handle. If there is nothing we can do to slow it down, we just have to work much harder than before to educate ourselves the importance of respect and tolerance in today's society. It is time we mature. It is time we try to understand that people live like they do because that is the way they want to live and we are in no position to judge at all.
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Life is but a dream
If "life is but a dream", is life a dream?
For the whole of this day, I was going around asking people, if they think life is a dream based on "life is but a dream". Majority of the people thinks that life is a dream but I think otherwise. Life is certainly not a dream.
I feel that there are several factors that affected our differing perception.
When taken into context of the rhyme,
Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream
Life is a dream because everything seem so easy.
However, when it is taken out of context, it can go either way and what a person thinks depend on the tone she expresses it with. Let's say the tone is very relaxed, then she might be inclined to think that it is a dream; but when you add a note of seriousness to it, it appears that life is not a dream.
I came up with this after talking to my english literature teacher. Initially, she said that life is a dream but after considering my point of view, it seems that my interpretation is not wrong either. While she was debating with herself, she tried changing the situation into 'George is but a boy,' which I think is pretty funny because everyone would naturally think that George is a boy because usually George refers to a boy. but that is not the point. She gave me a convincing explanation that taking the line is context and metaphorically, life is a dream.
This experience is totally different from the one I had with my english teacher. When I asked her about it, she insisted that life is a dream because that is the right way to interpret it. I told her about my interpretation and she negates is immediately claiming that she can't be my english teacher if she can't answer this question (it is quite ironic here as even though she did answer the question, she did not explain the answer, which is the role of a teacher) and that I interpreted otherwise because my english foundation is weak.
It is funny how I accept one explanation and not the other though they mean the same thing. Maybe, Life is what we believe in, be it a dream or not.
For the whole of this day, I was going around asking people, if they think life is a dream based on "life is but a dream". Majority of the people thinks that life is a dream but I think otherwise. Life is certainly not a dream.
I feel that there are several factors that affected our differing perception.
When taken into context of the rhyme,
Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream
Life is a dream because everything seem so easy.
However, when it is taken out of context, it can go either way and what a person thinks depend on the tone she expresses it with. Let's say the tone is very relaxed, then she might be inclined to think that it is a dream; but when you add a note of seriousness to it, it appears that life is not a dream.
I came up with this after talking to my english literature teacher. Initially, she said that life is a dream but after considering my point of view, it seems that my interpretation is not wrong either. While she was debating with herself, she tried changing the situation into 'George is but a boy,' which I think is pretty funny because everyone would naturally think that George is a boy because usually George refers to a boy. but that is not the point. She gave me a convincing explanation that taking the line is context and metaphorically, life is a dream.
This experience is totally different from the one I had with my english teacher. When I asked her about it, she insisted that life is a dream because that is the right way to interpret it. I told her about my interpretation and she negates is immediately claiming that she can't be my english teacher if she can't answer this question (it is quite ironic here as even though she did answer the question, she did not explain the answer, which is the role of a teacher) and that I interpreted otherwise because my english foundation is weak.
It is funny how I accept one explanation and not the other though they mean the same thing. Maybe, Life is what we believe in, be it a dream or not.
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