So today, my friends and I went to town to get stuff for Seniors' Night, and while we were waiting to cross the road, we saw this girl. She was wearing a kinda faded Ultramarine blue shirt, brown berms and had her hair tied up in a haggard pony tail. She is really young, like a couple of years younger than us. She had a cigarette in her hand.
The whole time while we were all waiting for the green man, she was constantly flicking her thumb to rid the ashes from the stick. Then she brought it to her mouth, the other hand covering and took a puff. Somehow, her manner didnt seem natural at all, and my friends and I concluded that she is very 'Act'. It was obvious that it was a pretense, that she is trying to be someone she is not, trying to look cool with a cigarrette in her hands, like she is all grown up and in control with her life. When the man turned green, we started crossing and a few seconds later, she bent down in the middle of the road to pick up something. She dropped her cigarette.
I started to feel sorry for her. I pitied her. Why, why must she try so hard to be someone that she is not, trying to fit into some mould that seems endearing. Then I realised, it is freaking hard to be comfortable in your own skin. It is so easy to feel insecure about oneself and so easy to look up to someone else, wishing that you will be like him/her. Worse, to be him/her.
I dont think it will ever be possible to be hundred percent, always feeling good about oneself, so this is just a tiny reminder to appreciate those precious moments, and you know, try to make those moments more frequent. I think it is ok to change, to be influenced, but it is also important to stay unique. Like choices that you make for yourself, it will be great if it was entirely but to you. But these are rare, so at least, make sure that you have a say in your choices. Did I just create a paradox here HAHA
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